...Pattaya

After leaving Sihanoukville with a heavy heart and a sunburned body (mom I reapplied so many times I swear) we were off to Thailand to finish our last two weeks of training!!! We got to the border and it was so casual but so not casual...I felt like I was smuggling illegal things across the border...but legally? It was weird. Anyway.

After legally crossing into Thailand (but was it legal?!?!) we settled into our hotel in Pattaya. First of all, something about Thailand.

You can NEVER. EVER. say anything bad about the King. EVER. I'm nervous even writing the word King, so from now on we will refer to him as K. We were told to just not even talk about him, because you don't want whatever you are saying to be taken the wrong way (not that it ever would...we love the King). Our Language Corps directors told us that one time, one of their students was trying to pay for a beer and accidentally dropped a coin on the ground. Having had one or two beers prior, he accidentally stepped on the coin before picking it up. And guess whose face is on all of the coins and money? The K's. HE GOT DEPORTED. DEPORTED. HE WAS DEPORTED. I hope you are reading this as though I am screaming because I AM. HE WAS DEPORTED. Another woman (not a part of Language Corps) was arrested because she didn't stand up from her movie theater seat during the K's anthem that plays before every movie. I'm not making this shit up people. I'm trying to insert the article link that I read in America before coming here about the woman, but I'm assuming it is blocked because this comes up now...

Now, something on Pattaya.

Pattaya is fucking weird. Not like ~*Keep Portland Weird*~ cool kind of weird (okay I know it was Keep Austin Weird first, but whatever). Old white men, with Hawaiian shirts unbuttoned to their hairy navel, sitting at the bar with their newborn baby Thai wives kind of weird.

Pattaya is also EXPENSIVE. And by expensive I mean going from Cambodia, where we would pay 75 cents to a dollar for a meal, to TWO DOLLARS FOR A MEAL. TWO DOLLARS. Do you know how many iced coffees that could get me in Cambodia?! Four. It could get me four.

A diva is a female version of a hustler.

Pattaya also apparently isn't real Thailand, according to our Thai teacher, Jam. I think the first words out of Jam's mouth were, "We not in real Thailand. Thailand is land of smiles, but only because we have to smile to speak our language." Jam don't play no games. At least we only have two weeks here...?

Final thoughts on Cambodia

Leaving Cambodia, especially Phnom Penh, was sadder than I had anticipated. I wasn't expecting to fall in love with a place so quickly. Our first few days there I remember thinking, "Laura what the fuck have you gotten yourself into and when can you book a flight home." Especially when the ants started to find my peanut butter. Looking out our window you could see a river that the water couldn't even flow down because there was so much trash in it. Walking down the street I would see a family living in a shack on the same street as a newly built mansion. Simply put there are people who have, and people who don't have. But the people. The people are amazing. Thailand is supposedly the "Land of Smiles" but I disagree. The Khmer people are so genuine and sweet, even though it was rare to find someone who spoke even a little bit of English (except the man who sold me coffee, bless his soul)

Megan McCawley thought otherwise...

"A little accent"

Every time a little kid would see us walking down the street they would chase after us and scream "HELLO!!!!!" and wave at us until we said hello back at least ten times. 

At first I was so confused why Language Corps would have their program located in the outskirts of Phnom Penh. There is nothing to "see" or "do" if you are looking for touristy things. But this is the most I feel I have been immersed in a culture before. I lived in the Netherlands for seven months and have less of a connection to the Dutch people than I do to the Khmer people, and I was only here for two weeks. 

Pay it forward is also a huge thing here. 

Mike, one of the staff of Language Corps who moved to Cambodia after a bad breakup, was short 100$ on his rent-he had absolutely no money to his name. A tuk tuk driver, who waits outside our hotel every morning hoping to give someone a ride so he could make even a little bit of money to support his family, gave Mike the last of his money so Mike could pay the rest of his rent. Tuk tuk drivers barely make enough money to support themselves and their family, yet this driver gave up the last of his money to help someone out in need. The kindness and sincerity these people have for one another, and even strangers, is amazing to witness. One of the LC teachers who has been living in Cambodia for about three months now had one of his meals paid for by a Khmer person when he first arrived. He decided to take us all out to eat (he showed us the angel who makes the Vietnamese meatball sammies *insert angels singing from up above*) and paid for every single one of us, on the condition that we do the same thing and pay it forward in whichever country we end up teaching. 

It is such a unique culture and while it definitely took some getting used to, I am sad to have left and cannot wait to visit!! If you have the opportunity to go to Cambodia I strongly suggest doing so- the people make it worth it.

Tears, mental breakdowns, and panic attacks

After another long week of class that included HOMEWORK (I graduated college for a reason...) we had our next weekend trip to Sihanoukville! THIS PLACE WAS SO COOL AND RELAXING (except for Chelsea... but we will get to that later) AND AMAZING AND I WANT TO LIVE HERE.

So serene and peaceful and NO ONE IS HERE AND I DON'T KNOW WHY BECAUSE IT IS PARADISE WHY AM I YELLING

^Chelsea still doesn't like coconuts, she just *does it for the pictures*

^my favorite husband and wife ever <3

After a peaceful morning of lounging in hammocks and drinking fresh coconuts, we had to complete four dives to finish our SCUBA certification. Most people would naturally be excited for this considering they are paying...to get certified...to ultimately be able to go scuba diving. Now everyone knows my friend Chelsea (the one who almost didn't come on this trip because she was afraid of seeing a snake...not even being bitten by one, simply seeing one. Legend has it she almost left California after seeing a garden snake. A garden snake.) Chelsea was NOT excited to go scuba diving, even though she was paying to do exactly that. 

Earlier in the week we had practiced swimming with all the gear on in the pool.

Real questions that were asked by Chelsea included, but not limited to:

Chelsea: What if I can't breathe?

Me: That's what the oxygen tank is for

Chelsea: But what if it doesn't work

Me: Then you come to the surface

Chelsea: Aren't you not supposed to hold your breath when you are coming back up to the surface, what if I get air bubbles in my blood and die

Me: You're in a five foot deep swimming pool...

Chelsea: But what if I can't breathe will I die?

Me: *slowly sinks underwater*

Thankfully our diving instructor, who is also the director of Language Corps (we love you Rick <3) was more patient than I was. Actual tears were shed in this pool.

Fast forward to Sihanoukville. It was emotionally exhausting even convincing Chelsea to get on the boat to take us to the dive spot.

"What if the boat capsizes"

"I can't swim"

"Are there sharks"

"Am I going to die"

"How do you breathe again"

This boat ride was at least a half hour...

After finally making it to the dive spot, with either ocean water or tears covering Chelsea's face (you can probably guess which one!) we had arrived. 

For our first dive we had to be able to fill our mask halfway with water and be able to get the water out, take our mask completely off and put it back on while getting all the water out, and buddy breathe all the way to the surface. Guess who my buddy was?!

Taking off the mask definitely was my biggest fear. The first time we did it in the pool, I couldn't get all the water out and ended up breathing in the water and choking. Thankfully we were in a pool so I just stood up and coughed my lungs out, but it reminded me of the time I almost drowned when I was about four years old in my dad's friend's pool (obviously this has scarred me for life, but my dad gave me an orange Fanta afterwards and I got over it. My dad also thinks I didn't actually "almost drown", but I was four years old. I remember.)

 Once everyone was in the water, Rick took us down pair by pair. Chelsea wanted to breathe air above water for as long as possible, so we were last to go.

After a few more tears, some hyperventilating, and Chelsea witnessing that everyone came out alive and well, it was finally our turn *cue dramatic music*

^Chelsea may or may not have said this

Once we got to the bottom (after Chelsea tried going back to the top at least five times and me holding onto her ankles and forcing her down calmly waiting by her side to make sure she was alright like a good diving buddy) we went through the test. First I filled my mask halfway with water and got it out, and then it was Chelsea's turn. I think she let in a few drops of water and didn't bother getting them out. Then I took my mask completely off, freaked the eff out with flashbacks of me "not really drowning", then put it back on and got the water out. In those thirty seconds I had a glimpse into the life of Chelsea Farrall and I hated every second of it. Next came time for Chelsea to take her mask off.

After trying to calm her down through gestures that kind of just looked like this:

Rick signaled us to buddy breathe and go up, after we realized Chelsea's mask was filling up not with water, but rather tears (I am as always making this more dramatic than it was...or am I)

Buddy breathing, as you can guess from the name, involves passing the respirator back and forth after each person takes two breaths, while the other person slowly breathes out. Buddy breathing for Chelsea and Laura meant me taking two breaths, passing the respirator to Chels, and her refusing to give it back to me. I think I tried to get it back at one point but she slapped my hand away (I'm fuzzy on the details, I may have blacked out from lack of oxygen................)

We made it to the surface with me gasping for air and Chelsea crying out of either happiness or fear, I'm not sure. 

We boated back to the beach where we had a few hours of being on land and breathing air until our next dive.

After relaxing ("I didn't die but what if the next time I do I swear my oxygen wasn't coming out I don't think I'm breathing right help") we were ready for our next dive! This time we had to use our compass and navigate seven minutes one way, and seven minutes back. Easy enough for most people. Not for tweedle dee and tweedle dum.

Every Spongebob GIF seems relevant to my life.

We had to decide who would use the compass and who would time us. Chelsea felt the need to only focus on her breathing or else she would die, so I ended up doing both.

We were cruising along just fine until Chelsea's ears started hurting really badly, so we went to the surface so she could pop them. I could still make out the facial expressions of Rick on the boat, that's how "far" we had swam floated along. 

He was slowly shaking his head. After a few more tears ("they just hurt so bad is my eardrum going to explode") we went back down. Another three minutes went by and I can feel myself slowly floating to the surface against my will, and lo and behold we are above water again. I couldn't figure out how to sink myself, so we just casually swam back to the boat "using the compass". Fa la la la la la la la la.

It was a long day of diving that called for libations.

^Chels drowning her anxiety in beer

This girl LOVED playing with my hair. And by playing with it I mean pulling out every strand of hair I had on my head in an attempt to braid it. When I finally thought she was done she looked at it, shook her head, and started over. I blame her for my premature balding.

The next morning, after riding to the beach on Rick's motorcycle (sorry Mom), we had our last two dives and then we would be SCUBA certified!

^are my roots grown out or is it *~ombre~*

Our first dive was just Rick taking us around to explore some coral! So much fun even though I had a death grip on me the whole time from my diving buddy.

^will I ever not have a wedgie? #yearofthebutt

Our last and final dive we were free to explore wherever we wanted for around 30 minutes!! This was actually so fun- Chelsea even remembered how to breathe!!! At one point we got a little too close to the coral and I looked up to see Chelsea on her back flailing around kicking everything in sight, but we survived.

Once we navigated our way back to the boat using our compass floated to the surface and swam towards the boat, Chelsea had one final task to do. Take her mask completely off and put it back on again while getting the water out.

More tears, more snot, and one more panic attack later, SHE DID IT!!!! 

Could not be more relieved to be breathing air.

We got back to the beach, took the written portion of the test that we definitely knew all the answers to and in no way cheated, and are officially SCUBA certified!!!!! YAY!

Chels are you so excited to use your scuba certification?!

Unfortunately we had to say bye to Sihanoukville and Cambodia, but our next adventure awaits in THAILAND!!!!

 

Angkor What?!

Our first weekend in Cambodia was spent in Siem Reap with all of Language Corps! Everyone was slightly nervous for the eight hour bus ride, because if you couldn't tell, Cambodian food doesn't exactly agree with the stomach any of the time some of the time. If you have to get up to leave class 10 times in an hour, nobody questions you, we just nod our head and wish you luck, while praying that when it inevitably hits you, you are in close proximity to the restroom.

Overall the bus ride went surprisingly well, except for the constant fear I faced of the overhead compartment crashing down on my head. By the end of the bus ride I had pieces of plaster all over me. At least no one pulled a Bridesmaids. 

Halfway through our bus ride we stopped at a place called Spider Village. When I heard "Spider Village" I had images of Ron Weasley and Harry Potter running away from Aragog in the Chamber of Secrets.

Here's a visual for all you muggles out there.

Thankfully all of the spiders were cooked. Mmmm lunch! We tried a tarantula...tasted like chicken. 

Surprisingly not bad, but feeling the little hairy legs in my mouth was slightly off putting, as you can tell by my face.

Emily was not impressed.

We don't think we'll be going back for seconds anytime soon.

We also bought the littlest bananas I have ever seen. I don't know why I find this so funny.

________________________________________________________________________________

The first day in Siem Reap we had the option to wake up at 4 a.m. to see the sunrise. Apparently it was going to be very rare, because the sun was going to be directly behind the center of Angkor Wat. How could I miss an opportunity like that?!?!

4 a.m. comes rolling around, and there we are stumbling to the bus to see this immaculate sunrise. We are posted outside of Angkor Wat for a good two hours, just waiting patiently for this sensational sunrise that is going to be life changing.

It went from dark:

To mildly dark:

To a light grey:

To the slightest of pinks:

And there it was.

  The sun did peek out of the clouds for about six seconds, and when it did, people went NUTS. I mean all of the selfie sticks in the world went up when this little speck of light appeared (including mine...). 

  

And that was the end of the spectacular sunrise. So much disappointment, so little sleep. Let's just pretend it looked like this:

^so disappointed that I didn't even realize I had a wedgie

Once we got back to the hotel, bragging to everyone who opted to sleep in how *~amazing and surreal and life changing~* the sunrise was, we began our tour of Angkor Wat (post 10 cups of coffee later, and two minutes of sleep for Chels).

^"I hate being a tourist. I just want to sleep"

Bayon temple was first! This place was incredible and by far my favorite.

ELLIEEEEE!!! Cropped out the people who were sitting on the ellie's back, that is MEAN AND HURTFUL.

^bald and sweaty

Buddhafly kissies

^I aslso had a wedgie 90% of the time 

After sweating through my Under Armour pants that are in fact not quick drying (Kevin Plank, the real test is whether or not Under Armour works in Southeast Asia...it doesn't) we headed to the next temple which was Baphuon (?)

^so presh

This was the point of the trip where Chelsea and I got lost wandering through the temples. We aren't very good at directions, especially together. 

"Which way do we go?"

*walks in circles*

After having someone in our group sent out in search to bring us back (sorry Jarrod...), we were off to the next temple. And guess who was there?!?!

She actually asked me to take this photo for her. You're welcome Michelle.

Since Michelle (we are on a first name basis now...I allow her to call me Laura) is sort of famous or something, we had to skip going through one of the coolest temples, Ta Prohm (where they filmed Tomb Raider) because I guess she couldn't be near us peasants. 

Thanks Obama.

To end the day we finally explored inside Angkor Wat! We were only allowed in certain areas because we were stalking Michelle Obama Michelle was like following us or something. I know she wants to be my friend because I am like really cool and everything but a girl needs her personal space.

After walking, sweating, and seeing more temples than I could ever care about (jkjk they were really cool) we rewarded ourselves with a quick swim and a night out on Pub Street where we drank very responsibly and had a glass of water in between ever beer, just like my wise dad says!

the street of a thousand dreams

 The next morning feeling like 100 bucks, we hit up one more temple (I never want to hear the word temple again) 

Thankfully Michelle didn't follow me to this temple, so we were free to explore. So nice of her. Then we had our eight our bus ride to look forward to! YAY FORREST IS SO EXCITED!!!