The return of Satan

After spending some time in Chiang Mai, we decided it was finally time to start looking for a job (it’s weird that I’m finally writing this blog three months later…I miss being unemployed). Thailand is cheap, but when you come here on a seasonal Macy’s employee salary, your money goes quickly. I can also never pass up a gafae yen <3 <3 We headed back to Bangkok on an overnight bus from Chiang Mai (9 hour bus rides are the definition of a good time) and passed out in our hostel’s waiting area while our rooms where being cleaned. I’m sleeping on a couch in that weird state where you know you are somewhat awake but at the same time you know you are sleeping, when I heard Chelsea say in the most distressed voice “Laurrrrrrrr”. I figured there was a spider or something that she wanted me to kill so I tried to go back to my dreams of endless jars of peanut butter when I heard her say this time in tears “Laurrrrrrrrrrrr are you awakeeeeeeee” (so distressed). I finally rolled over and all she says is “Phillip Dunne.”

If you don't remember who Satan Phillip Dunne is, please refer to my previous post, here.

She slowly hands her phone to me and I already see the hint of a tear forming in her eyes.

^ my exact words if I do recall.

PHILLIP DUNNE IF YOU ARE READING THIS, LEAVE US (well mostly Chelsea) ALONE. YOU ARE A BULLY.

Now normally I would tell Chelsea she is overreacting, its not a big deal, nothing is going to happen, etc. But this freaked me out a little. Not necessarily the fact that he supposedly contacted the Thai Ministry of Education (I can smell your bullshit from my lovely apartment in Thailand, Phillip), but it creeped me out that he has Chelsea’s Thai phone number as well as our address. After hyperventilating really quick (Chelsea), a few lot of tears (Chelsea), and thinking about going back to my nap (me) we decided to email our best friend and Language Corps director, Riiiiick. 

He responded with a  very nonchalant email about how Phillip is a douche bag (I'm paraphrasing here) and how we shouldn't worry about it, and whether or not we got a job yet (the answer is no). Classic Rick. He is used to dealing with Chelsea's meltdowns (see: scuba diving). 

Mind you, this all happened mid-April. End of June, Chelsea and I are watching Orange is the New Black (I waited for you for so long, why you gotta disappoint me like that OITNB???) and I get an email with the subject “Island TEFL scam”. 

I open my the email fully expecting to see a picture of Phillip standing outside my apartment grasping a knife. 

Turns out it wasn’t from Phillip (God bless) but from a nice man named Robert who ALSO got scammed by Phillip. 

SEE PHILLIP YOUR COMPANY ISN'T EVEN REGISTERED YOU PIECE OF SHIT. While I share in Robert's pain, it makes me feel slightly less idiotic that other people got scammed just as badly as we did.  Lo and behold the next day none other than Scott Johnson emails me. 

I do indeed check out his review on Island TEFL.

Some highlights from this review:

• "I tried to get my $795 back by making a claim on PayPal, which I lost. Afterwards he sent me a threatening letter, demanding another $499 for the online textbook "course", claiming that his "Lawyer" would get my passport number from my drivers license picture and I would be in for a "surprise" when I come to visit my girlfriend"       
• "He replied again shortly, stating that his Lawyer would make sure I got detained at the airport, and 'Hope you enjoy life behind bars'"
• "I also heard his last name is Krabbe, like the greedy bastard from Spongebob Squarepants"
• "Also a possible rape suspect? It's no wonder the mafia there put a hit on him and he had to escape on a fucking rowboat"

THE MAFIA? ESCAPING ON A ROWBOAT?? It's like a plot for a Lifetime movie. 

Scott sent me some more information on Phillip...

"I wish that fat fuck would come to my house"

Right there with you Scotty boy. Bottom line: never trust a fat fuck named Phillip Dunne.